It's hard to know what to think of a game called Super Robo Mouse. Do you play as a robotic mouse with a cape who tries to save the world? No. That actually might have been pretty cool.
Upon starting up Super Robo Mouse, you're instructed to "Look at TV". Next, you look at the TV and it says "+ Start" so you push the + button. Then, the TV tells you to "Look at Wii U GamePad". After selecting the first level by touching it (which doesn't always work), the GamePad just says "Collect to open goal" with a picture of what you'll later learn is titanium cheese and a number beside it. But, where's the game? Oh, it's on the TV now. Why in the heck do they make you bounce between the GamePad and the TV this many times before even being able to actually play the game? This is by far the worst first impression that I've ever had out of all of the hundreds of games that I've played in my life. The sad thing is, it only gets worse from here on out.
Before we discuss the absolutely horrendous gameplay, let's talk about the presentation. First of all, you'll notice that you control a computer mouse with a mouse's face on it. That's kind of cute and clever. Too bad the visuals appear like your average Flash game. The grey grid-like mazes are uninspired to say the least and the saws and laser-shooting turrets are just as cookie cutter. If you ever make it to the second or third world, you'll get to see some new colours and features but nothing redeems the monotony of it all. However, the most awful part of the presentation is the audio. The music is agonizingly terrible with serious trance-like synthesizers that seem to only play random notes. Why did they try to make it sound so serious? Why not have fun with the soundtrack? It's so crummy, and on top of that, there are no sound effects whatsoever. I think Super Robo Mouse may just have the worst audio in gaming history.
Okay, it's time to take a deep breath and try to explain just how bad Super Robo Mouse's gameplay is. You control the mouse in overhead mazes in order to collect all of the cheese that unlocks the exit. You have to use the GamePad which is unacceptable because you're forced to watch the TV. Why couldn't they show the gameplay on the GamePad, too? Why can't you use a Pro Controller? Either way, considering you move the mouse around with the stick; you'd expect to be able to tilt it slightly to move slowly. Of course, this isn't the case since the mouse only has one speed which is way too fast to be able to see what's coming. Therefore, you have to move in short little jerks if you want to stay out of harm's way but even that won't ensure success because a turret's projectile may seemingly come out of nowhere and end your life in an instant. Oh, I forgot to mention that one hit is all it takes and there are no checkpoints.
So far, Super Robo Mouse seems like a pretty terrible game and it is, but how could it be better? I'll take my time to offer some constructive criticism. If you make a game that only uses the analog stick, make sure you can tilt in 360 degrees instead of just eight directions. Also, gradual tilts should move the character slower than pushing all the way. Another good idea would be to add sound effects, especially if you have off-screen laser turrets. Hearing them fire in the distance will make avoiding their shots a lot easier. When playing a game and your character dies, there should be some sort of effect as opposed to just having the screen fade to black. This makes gamers want to keep trying as it creates a disheartening sensation as opposed to a reaction of "What the heck just happened?" Finally, get some folks to play your game and give feedback before you decide to unleash it on unsuspecting gamers worldwide.
After all is said and done, Super Robo Mouse isn't the worst game that I've ever played (it's slightly better than Color Bombs and Heptrix), but it's still an unplayable catastrophe that Nintendo shouldn't have let on their eShop. Whatever happened to quality control?
- + The mouse is kind of cute
- - Horrible music with no sound effects at all
- - Atrocious gameplay that falls on its face at almost every given opportunity
- - Both the GamePad and TV are mandatory